I'm ready to shirk this, and I think that talking about it will help. Being in a relationship with someone who has depression is very difficult. Not only does that weigh heavily upon the person who has depression, but it also affects all of those involved. When times were good, things were good as well. But when times were bad, it felt as though I alone was carrying the emotional weight of two people. I will now admit that I think that 4-year experience had a profound effect on me. I think that it has made me less emotive; more guarded and closed. I spent my high school years, years that are supposed to be filled with fun and friends, trying to help my significant other through her disorder. I gave much of my time, doing what any boyfriend would do and much more. That's why this next part is so hard.
I thought that we would be together for a long time. I knew that most couples who go off to college break up or have a bit of a strain. I am probably the most realistic person you know. We promised each other that if we felt the desire to date around, then we should talk about it. Finally, the day came when we had that conversation; the result was the end of our relationship. No big deal, people get over those things. I was a little hurt by the fact that she started seeing some guy right away. Makes you feel insignificant. But later, via her, I would learn that not only were the dating before she and I broke up, but that she had cheated on me with this guy.
That should've been the end of us ever talking. But, being an idiot caught in a mix of emotion, I chose to keep contact. I realize now that I should not have done that. It would've been better for me. It's hard to see someone so happy with the person with whom they cheated on you. Suck.
I feel much better having gotten this off of my chest. This is stuff that I haven't told anyone. So this is between me and like...no one. Oh well. I just feel like I deserve a little more respect than I was given. Maybe someday I will have someone who respects me. I know she's out there.
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